April 18, 2001 + Wednesday + 8:06 pm

Good evening. Amazing, yesterday was a beautiful 68 degrees. Warm, sunny, tremendously pleasant. Today: gloomy, cold and RAINY.

I am so tired of this armageddon weather.

ERROR MSGAnd now I have a cold. Wtf is that? I was out at my 2nd home today [Zephyr's coffee shop] with a tissue to my face the whole time.

I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake. I want rice cake.

And I'm too lazy/ill-ish to drive myself to a Korean restaurant. Can you get some for me, please?

SF nightlife>>>>>>>>>>>>>ERROR MSGA kristin-spotting for tomorrow? You can catch me in the crowd at the Justice League tomorrow night...that is I'm in plain sight and not hiding in the corner making out with some mysterious stranger. Hahaha. I'm just kidding about the last part about hiding in the corner w/ some "mysterious stranger".

Fine, don't believe me.

April 22, 2001 + Sunday + 3:14 pm

Being lazy [oink-oink] for the past 3 days has cleared up my cold. Eat, sleep, oink oink, eat, sleep, oink oink!

Jealousy.

Sucks to be able to feel it. I don't think I am an overly jealous person, but I am a jealous person when i'm in such a situation to be. I just don't show it.

ERROR MSGLast year, back in January, my ex Chris was up in SF visiting me for a few days. The first day he arrived, we went shopping around Union Square. We walked hand in hand into the Victoria's Secret store on Powell. Amid the colorful displays of pricey lingerie, Chris catches the eye of this female shopper walking around the store with a girlfriend. He told me that he knew that girl, some Korean girl he had once in his econ class from the previous spring. He kept on staring at her and that girl was staring back because it was obvious they recognized each other all the way in SF instead of their former econ class at UCSD. He kept on talking about her as we browsed through the store, saying how he had a little crush on her [since she was the only cute girl in class] that spring when they were in the same class, and he was saying how they never talked during class the whole quarter because they sat on opposite sides of the room. And, he just kept on staring and staring.

ERROR MSGI guess I would've stared too if I ran into someone I knew from class in a totally far-away city.

ERROR MSGBut the staring was getting to me because he didn't at least say "Hey, what a coincidence" or whatever. He just kept on looking at her, and there I was walking with him in some fucking lingerie store, holding his hand so she can see clearly that I'm with him, in case she was thinking something else. I was watching him look at her. His eyes, fixated on that girl as I was holding his hand, just made me feel icky. I didn't think she was cute, personally. I just felt like I was in some awkward situation because I remember when I first met Chris, he said something about having a thing for Korean girls. Even if she didn't mean squat to him, I just felt like the jealous girlfriend.

That incident pretty much bothered me the whole time Chris was up in SF with me. Every day he would bring it up. Like he was so damn surprised, like he couldn't believe it. He even had the damn balls to bring it up when we were alone together. Imagine this: he and I were making out and all of a sudden "Gosh, I can't believe I ran into that girl!" What a mood-killer. Tell me about it! I hope he wasn't thinking about that incident when we were doing other things.

I was hurt.

Heh, I also remember like a week or so after he visited me and he was back in San Diego at school, he leaves a message on my phone-machine saying "Hi, guess what? I ran into that VS girl at school today, heh-heh. Call me back!"

Like I fucking gave a shit about it. But yeah, that whole incident pissed me off.

But that was a long time ago. I'm nobody's girlfriend right now and so I don't think I could be in a similar situation. See...I am the jealous type.

ERROR MSGApril 23, 2001 + Monday + 10:21 pm

Today had beautiful weather. Made me wanna eat lunch while staring at the endless glistening ocean...and so I did.

Just beautiful "me, myself and I" time.

The trailer for the Moulin Rouge movie contains captions and one of them is "don't fall in love", or something like that [I don't remember]. Well, I'll try not to. Sometimes it's hard because you can't control your feelings for someone else. They just happen. What a scary thing...but then again, when you're in love, it feels great. Love, eye-contact and closeness. It's just scary when you're the only one that feels it.

Ok, right about now, my head feels kinda achy. I just consumed 2 dark chocolates [with lush, creamy fillings] from the box of Godiva dessert chocolates that was upstairs. It's so decadent that my head feels swishy. Pre-rag food, I know. I don't eat this stuff but I had a little craving for something sweet since the only other sweet that would suffice isn't available and is possibly bitter after what had occurred this morning :( I kinda feel like I hold some of the responsibilty. I will understand if I don't want to be seen anymore. I do, I do, I do. Such is life.

I know you guys are prolly confused. But not everyone.

April 25, 2001 + Wednesday + 7:49 pm

ERROR MSGI think I might as well take Wednesdays off. Every Wednesday turns out to be some non-productive lazy day. Oink oink Wednesdays. I like Wednesdays still. My favorite day of the week [excluding weekends].

Last night I watched "Blow" on Van Ness. Tell me about long long movie, but it was well worth the watch. Drug smuggling and the underground economy has never been so tasteful. Good family fun. Not to sound sleazy, but if coke had no ill, life threatening effects, then I'd do it. Same goes for heroin. I'm serious. Maybe on the last day of my life...

Has anyone tried that new Gillette Venus shaving razor? Is it any good? I'd like to know before I invest 7 bucks, but then again my electric one that I have works wonders.

Off the subject but...

How many of yooz have watched that controversial 1995 movie "Kids"? [If not, you can borrow my copy!] Well, remember the scene of all the girls talking about guys and their sex-related experiences and one girl says that there's 3 kinds of sex: making love, having sex and fucking. What do you think about that? Is there a such difference? To me, I think that there's a such thing as making love and fucking. The "having sex" description is kinda unclear because all 3 types are about having sex anyway, so I don't know about that. What do you people prefer? Teeheehee. Want to know what I prefer? Hmm...

April 27, 2001 + Friday + 9:39 pm

So I'm home on a Friday night, who cares? Besides, I got home from work like an hour ago so I don't feel like doing anything except sit here and think about my next trip to Sephora so I can get some lip gloss. Hmm...did I go out last Friday? Oh yeah, I did. Went to a friend's birthday get-together and then Yancy's where I finally tried a Mad Hatter [thanks to Ms. Charlene's suggestion, a billion gb entries ago]. It's like a sweeter Black Velvet. Yummay!

Brr...can San Francisco be any more winter-esque?

Anyway, this is a note to Ms. Kristina who signed my guestbook yesterday. I don't know if she was dissing me and other webjournals following this webjournaling trend but I wanted to reply. I don't really care about what I write in here or who it's for. I just do it. I don't make an effort for people to know me. This is merely a little glimpse of what I do. I guess in order for people to really know me, you'd have to meet me. I don't display my 100% in here. This is just something for the sake of doing a website. If I want to rant about how life is grand or how life is dull, I can. I can talk about where I'm going tomorrow or not. A lot of us do. You're right, we can't stop people from writing those things. There is no right or wrong way to do a web journal. A lot of us feel mundane, a lot of us feel adventurous and some share it with the Internet world and some keep it to themselves. There's many webjournals out there that are similar, but it's not like we're copying each other. We are human, we do a lot of the same things, so it's bound to happen. Not everyone is gonna like what we have but I think it's another thing when people are being critical of living our lives but yet going the extra step to writing about it to a bunch of strangers. This is what I say to them:"Ooh, like I'm so sorry my life isn't exciting enough for you, but I don't give a fuck." We can't regulate the things reality produces. That's what makes this world we live in such a crazy place. And as for the Internet, we can't control that either. The world is full of fucking pretentious shits and hilarious dumbasses that makes for a wonderfully textured place to be.